Monday, November 05, 2007

It's permanent, you know?

This weekend Urban Cowboy and I went to brunch at a pretty cool club in the OC. In the evenings it's a night club with decent djs and a pretty fun crowd but on Sunday's it transforms into a great place for brunch. While we were there, enjoying some "gourmet" (read: unusual but yummy) breakfast food, a chick we used to see a lot walked in the door. She's a pretty loud chick and beats even me in the crude department. I mean, I've been known to throw around an unladylike amount of cuss words and to venture into inappropriate topics of conversation so I know I'm not the model of propriety or virtuous demeanor. That said, this chick is very crude and brash and a bit trashy with all her talk and sense of humor. (Think: Family Guy meets Eddie Murphy meets Wanda Sykes) Anyhoo, we haven't seen this chick in a while so we're being friendly and asking what's new and generally catching up. She tells us her latest thing is she's lost her tattoo virginity and she loves her first tatoo ... do we want to see it? Well, we know this girl so we're a bit hesitant but don't want to hurt her feelings and we encourage her to show it to us. Guess what it was? No, you'll never guess so I'll just tell you. First, she prefaces her display telling us how much she hates "tramp stamps" and how she always makes fun of them on other girls. Second, she starts laughing hysterically (did I mention how loud this girl is?) and she pulls her pants down in the back to reveal her new tattoo which is placed EXACTLY at the very top of the beginning of her butt crack! So, picture a banner between two cherubs, minus the cherubs. Inside the banner is the word "HARDER" in fancy scripts. Yes, she got the word harder tattooed at the top of her ass crack! I sometimes forget to censor myself and I blurted out, "Will you show that to your mom?!". She said she already had and her mom called her an asshole - making the picture of this girls upbringing a bit clearer. So, for the rest of her life any time this girl has relations with a man or if she ever has kids and shares a bath with them, she will have the word "harder" and all its implications tattooed at the top of her ass crack. Wow. There just aren't words for that, yo.

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